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Mom2Shelby

11 Months an angel

How can it be possible that it has been 11 months since I have felt that soft fur against my face, kissed those velvet ears, had the best snuggles in the world? How is possible that in one month, I will be honoring you with your one year angelversary? How is it possible that it hurts as much today as it did last Apri? How is possible that I might never heal fully from this loss? Is this simply my new reality? Laughter with a healthy dose of raw pain every single day? They say if you love hard, you grieve hard. That is so true.

One year ago we went to the beach. You were not feeling 100% after your last chemo but you loved the beach so we found a shady spot and you basked in the breeze, sniffed the air and relaxed. A calm always came over your body when we were together at the beach. I couldn’t have known that it was going to be our last month together. I am glad I didn’t know that. I am glad that we were able to spend those hours at the beach together, snuggling, cuddling and you – always – asserting your independence.

I am painfully aware – more so this past week – how precious our time on earth is. Too many friends have lost their beloved babies this year. I know you are busy welcoming them all over the rainbow bridge. Another dear friend, one of your Tripawd buddies, just learned her dog has another cancer and it is the same as yours. Life is cruel and unfair.

Our time on earth is short. You did have an amazing 13 1/2 years and I am forever honored that we spent them together. It is never enough time but the lessons you taught me in our last year together remain etched in my mind. Be more dog. Live in the moment. Be thankful. Be kind. Be loving.

So today, I honor you a little bit more. I hope you don’t mind that I am shedding several tears for you, my love … But today really hurts my heart. The next four weeks will be hard as I relive our time in my mind. But I know you will be at my side and you will guide me.

I love you forever and ever, sweet Shelby Lynne. I love you to the moon and back and for all eternity. Don’t be a stranger. Your mama needs you. Kisses, smooches, cuddles and love … you are the love of my life. I miss you. 

5 Comments »

  1. jerry Said,

    March 8, 2015@ 1:33 pm      Reply

    {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

    Oh I know what you mean, time just moves so fast that it makes your head spin. 11 months is a long time and it’s not, you know?

    Don’t worry, Shelby will be there by your side, helping you through this next month. And we are too.

  2. benny55 Said,

    March 8, 2015@ 3:37 pm      Reply

    Awww Alison, I’m shedding tears eight with you kiddo. We feel your hurt and we feel your sandess. She is such a huge lart of your life and I know you miss her beyond words.

    I love how you paint such vivid pictures of your beautiful memories. I can feel the ge tle breeze from the beach and smell the salt air. Mlst of all though, I can feel the unbroken love you two will a@ways share. She’ll always be your “best firl” and you’ll always be hers.

    The happiness snd contentment she shows when she snuggles and hugs with you just melts my heart. Simulates forever.

    And she’s stylin’ a very fine scarf too!

    Thanks for sharing these treasured memories and lovely photos. I always look forward to Shelby stories.

    With love,

    Sally and My Eternal Light Happy Hannah

  3. 4myty Said,

    March 8, 2015@ 3:51 pm      Reply

    It is so hard to believe it has been almost a year since our dear pups left. I think Shelby, Hannah and TY were all in about 2 or 3 weeks. It sometimes seems forever and sometimes, like it was just yesterday. I am with Sally, I was feeling the Beach Breeze on my face as I read your post. I hope she sends you lots of pennies and shiny things in the next weeks. Know that you are held close in all our hearts and thoughts. Hugs, Lori, Ty and Gang

  4. Michelle Said,

    March 8, 2015@ 7:22 pm      Reply

    I honestly can’t believe it has been 11 months. It seems like yesterday. I am glad Shelby is sending you her signs. She will continue to. I know what you mean about the year mark.

    Each day you will have a special memory about her I am sure. And she will guide JL to do fun things with you.

    Hugs
    Michelle & Angel Sassy

  5. ohmynixon Said,

    March 12, 2015@ 9:38 pm      Reply

    *hugs* Not as perfect as one from Shelby as she was a master of hugs, but it is from the heart. Such bittersweet memories…but at least you are glad that they happened. I do not believe that the pain ever fades but you just get better at living with it. *hugs*


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