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13 months an angel

My beloved Shelby ….

I miss you like it was just yesterday that you left earth. I miss you every second of every day – still. Yet I love, appreciate and find happiness with the “new dog”. She makes me laugh and smile and I feel your spirit pulling further from me and I long to have you come back. I long to have you visit. I long to feel those velvet ears, kiss those sweet cheeks, drink in your senior dog scent. I long for lazy nap filled weekends. I long for our road trips to the beach and wherever. You always loved riding in the car and just “going”.

I long to relive our first days in New Orleans. I don’t long to relive your many ‘bad’ dog moments (trips to the ER for the chocolate, red vines, etc. that you consumed).

I long for the memories to be the present again. I know all to well you can’t “live in the past” or the saying that says “don’t look back, that’s not the way you are going” but looking forward to simply too scary right now. Shelby, I am lost without you by my side. You were the strong one. You were the one that had all the answers.

I don’t know where I want to be. It’s been a long time since I have felt this lost and this incapable of making decisions about where I want to live, work, exist… this life… Shelby… it isn’t working right now and I don’t know how to fix it. So my angel, please send me some strength to make things right. Or some sort of message so that I know that you are OK and that all will work out OK and I will come stronger than ever.

I miss you, my angel. I posted your video a year ago today. I still can’t get through it without massive tears but sometimes a good cry is a healthy way to cleanse the soul. I love you. Please know that I love you more than my own life and I will forever miss you every single day and I long for the day we are together again. And even though I have the new dog that you sent me, we talk about you every single day! Thank you for helping guide her to be a “good girl” and leave all the “bad dog” things in your court!

Love of my life … and our favorite place!

SNUGGLES!1! Saturday naps were the best!

BFF’s for life .. just a girl and her dog.

San Diego after our mini vacation. She was in ‘time out’ for running off.

By our home… the beach lifestyle … just two girls out for a walk on the beach!


  1. Michelle Said,

    May 8, 2015@ 12:38 pm      Reply

    I know these anniversaries hurt. They don’t get any better. If I said they did I would lie. I know every anniversary that Sassy had. The hurt lessens. I love how you can express exactly what you feel and want to say.

    Love all these pictures. I couldn’t make it through this post or the video without tears

    michelle & Angel Sassy

  2. Codie Rae Said,

    May 8, 2015@ 8:22 pm      Reply

    One minute, one hour, one day, one month at a time. With Shelby’s grace and Jasper Lily by your side you will make it through these hard times Alison. Yup. You will 🙂


  3. penny4weims Said,

    May 8, 2015@ 9:36 pm      Reply

    Beautiful, lovely post on your girl Shelby. I loved the video in that it showed her thru the years and how much fun you two had. She is smiling down from heaven you were her mama.
    Penny and her Gang

  4. benny55 Said,

    May 9, 2015@ 9:56 am      Reply

    Dear Sweet Alison…you recapture the memories so beautifully and with such vivid detail.

    You two are each other’s Soul mate without question. Shelby so lpved being your BFF and having you as hers.

    These pictures just ooze with the love you two shared…and the happy times!

    The first picture… content, so peaceful, so happy. She just blends in with the whole energy of the sea, the sand, the sun and the sky. It’s a great way to remember Shelby, as are we all, is a part of nature. In nature nothing ever “dies”. It transforms from one form to a other, but is always present in various dimensions.

    And the video…just love this dog! Your bond is so very special Alison. It really is. And you always are able to express that loving bond through your heartfelt words and touching pictures.

    Thank you so much for allow i ng us the privilege of seeing these sacred treasures. Don’t ever stop!!

    Endless love!!

    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!

  5. 4myty Said,

    May 11, 2015@ 6:03 am      Reply

    Beautiful pictures, beautiful memories. Yes, these anniversaries are so bittersweet. We are sad, yet we know that we are so fortunate to have loved that deeply. I am with Sally, that first picture. So peaceful. You 2 were quite the team. She sent little JL to keep you company since she knew how lonely you were since she left for the bridge. The memories you build with JL will be different for sure, but will become just as precious.just different. Take each day as it comes Alison. One day at a time. Hugs, Lori, Ty & the Gang

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