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Mom2Shelby

17 Months an angel

Dear Shelby,

It’s been a month since I last updated your blog. I miss you. This time of year will always be a bit rough for me since it was when we got the definitive diagnosis of your hemangiosarcoma cancer. I remember when I couldn’t even pronounce this cancer let alone spell it and sadly, it quickly became part of my normal vernacular.

You have been gone 17 months! It feels like a lifetime since I felt and kissed those little velvet ears. I look at photos of you and just miss that sweet little face SO much! You always “got me”. And as time goes by … I realize even more how much the “alpha” in our relationship you were. Little Jasper Lily definitely knows that I am in charge (yet that doesn’t seem to stop her from making some bad choices but she always feels guilty).

Thank you for placing that shiny penny under the rock this weekend. You knew I would find it and think of you! Always sending me money around your angel-versary.

A lot has happened over the past month; as you know we went on the trip up north to Portland and your favorite place, Cannon Beach. It was a great trip and I hope you enjoyed the ride. We thought about and talked about you – a lot! You would have loved that journey.

I am so thankful you found me a great little traveling companion in Jasper Lily. The world would be perfect with the both of you but it has been so much fun getting to know Jasper and seeing her grow. I know you are helping guide her.

It’s almost football season. We LOVED to watch the Saints together. My little Cajun pooch!

There is just so much I always miss about you and how much more healing I need to do … I don’t know that I will ever completely heal and that is OK. I focused last year on Jasper’s issues and getting her to a good place and now it’s time to work on healing me. I moved your photos to one wall and we call it “Shelby’s Corner”. It warms my heart and soothes my soul to look at your corner while I am sitting on the couch.

I am hoping that since last year, I survived all the “firsts” … this year will be easier … I know what to expect, I know what we went through and as much as I do love little Jasper Lily (and I really do), I will always think of my soul-mate, my heart dog, the love of my life!

Mommy misses you … be good sweet girl and remember, I love you to the moon and back and for all infinity!

“Shelby’s Corner” – her photo montages (complete with her paw print). On top of the bookcase, her ashes, her tiara, and all the cash/trinkets she has sent me.

Future’s so bright! Such a patient dog.

Who Dat??! This princess loved her Saints!

Our last trip to Santa Barbara right after her diagnosis! It was a tough trip on the both of us but we always loved our road trips! Kisses for my one true love.

7 Comments »

  1. Dawnie Said,

    September 8, 2015@ 3:47 pm      Reply

    Oh my gosh u got those tears rolling down my cheeks! Sending big virtual hugs your way. What sweet natures our pups bring to our lives and how we miss them dearly when they move on without us for a peaceful and painless journey ahead until our time to play again arises. They say time is a healer. I’m not so sure as our fur kids passings always takes a piece of our heart with them that is never healed nor filled. I’m a strong believer that in loving another pooch our hearts expand but never are those empty holes filled or replaced. Scars remain but memories and celebrations of life continue to aid our recovery in managing life forwards with that emptiness that will always be. Sending thoughts your way. X

  2. 4myty Said,

    September 8, 2015@ 6:08 pm      Reply

    Yes, it is definitely a relief to have all the firsts out of the way. Then again, that means so much more time has passed without our beloved pups.You have shown such strength in the last 2 years. Not only through losing Shelby, but in nursing her through her illness and then stepping out of your comfort zone with JL. I have seen such growth in both of you. Sometimes, it is hard to see in ourselves. Hugs, Lori, Ty & Gang

  3. Michelle Said,

    September 8, 2015@ 6:50 pm      Reply

    Alison,
    You have come a long long way in these 17 months. Yes, the firsts are always toughest but when we love the way we do we will always miss our babies. Doesn’t matter how long they have been gone. Shelby will always be in your heart & with you. Shoot I talk to Sassy every day.
    I love “Shelby’s corner”. You did a great job with it and I love each and every one of those pictures.

    Shelby Happy 17th month Angelversary. I hope you are having a good celebration with all of our Angels up there.

    xoxxoxo
    Michelle & Angel Sassy

  4. peacelovepitbulls Said,

    September 9, 2015@ 1:34 pm      Reply

    I’m crying too!! 🙂

  5. benny55 Said,

    September 9, 2015@ 5:36 pm      Reply

    Just so you’ll know…ive been trying to reply..hav i ng issues. Crazy stuff goes o n when I try and type in your blog…se ding the admin guy

  6. benny55 Said,

    September 9, 2015@ 11:00 pm      Reply

  7. jerry Said,

    September 13, 2015@ 12:50 pm      Reply

    Alison, how interesting that Shelby sent you Jasper so now YOU can be the alpha! She did it so you can find the alpha girl in your heart and go out there and kick butt in life. What a sweetie!

    I know, 17 months, it’s crazy. Where does the time go? I love her corner, it looks like a nice spot to remember all the good times.


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