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Mom2Shelby

19 Months an angel

My darling Shelby … I miss you SO much. With each month that passes it just means it’s been even longer since I have kissed those velvet ears. I find it odd that I can be two steps forward and three steps back in this journey. I know the grief of your passing is something that I will live with forever. And that is OK. We love hard and we grieve hard.

I was out of town this year on the “Day of the Dead”. I thought about you and wanted to honor you in some way but it wasn’t possible. But know you were in my heart ALL day long!

Right before I went out of town, and had to leave Jasper for the first time (which was the hardest thing I have done in a really, really long time) was so thankful to get the shiny penny from you. And the other coin that we found on our walk. Thank you! Thank you for sending me TWO signs that you were OK and that I was going to be OK (and so was Jasper in her first long boarding situation).

There are so many ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’ moments that go through my mind. It’s such a waste of energy to live in the past and I strive to live more in the present. Which is why I think leaving Jasper was SO hard on me. I never want to miss one minute of her life as I missed too many of yours as I was learning about myself, growing up and trying to figure out who I was and where I wanted to be in life. I am a work in progress!

We walked down by the beach today. It’s still “our spot” as Jasper tolerates it. She prefers the woods.

And finally, today I was driving home and was behind a car from Tennessee. I rarely notice these things but today I took note. They were from “Shelby”. That was my sign! Thank you my love … I know you are always with me. I strive to do you proud!

I miss you. I love you. I love you to the moon and back and for all infinity! My best girl. The love of my life. My soul-mate. XOXO

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My beach girl!

My cajun pooch with her alligator!

Jasper with the coins you sent us! We love you!!!

4 Comments »

  1. Michelle Said,

    November 8, 2015@ 5:45 pm      Reply

    19 months long time in many moments and just like yesterday in many too. It is hard to believe that she has been gone so long. She will always be sending you signs. Sometimes they will be the slap you in the face ones and other times subtle.
    we love you Shelby and will always remember you

    xxoxxoxo
    Michelle & Angel Sassy

  2. benny55 Said,

    November 8, 2015@ 9:17 pm      Reply

    Okay, gonna try this again before your blog turns blank right before my eyes!

  3. 4myty Said,

    November 9, 2015@ 8:23 am      Reply

    What wonderful signs! Shelby is never far away. How could she be, she is nestled right inside your heart!

  4. jerry Said,

    November 11, 2015@ 8:32 pm      Reply

    Awww such a beautiful tribute to a real honest to goodness angel. I love how you put it:

    “I am a work in progress.”

    SO true! And our dogs know that, that’s why they are so patient with us.


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