It beyond pains me to write that …. it makes me realize that in 2 short months it will be one year since you left your earthly body and joined the others in heaven as an angel. I miss you so much Shelby. I keep thinking the pain will become less and for the most part, it has but it still shakes my inner core. Daily.
This was a double-whammy weekend for me. Yesterday was the 18th year anniversary of when my daddy earned his wings. I know you are BOTH looking out for me all the time. I know you have met up and you are best friends. He would have loved you here on earth so I know he adores you in heaven.
Yesterday I reconnected with my college roommate and she has a memory like non-other. She reminded me of when she came to visit in New Orleans and you ate ALL the snacks out of her bag. She remembered how you instantly became her best friend and snuggled with her on the couch.
It’s Mardi Gras season in New Orleans. You were the epitome of Mardi Gras, with your beads and boas. Such a beautiful girl all the time.
I still remember the “Mystic Krewe of Barkus” when we spray-painted you blue and you were a “blue suede show” since the them was Elvis. That paint took forever to come off in the bathtub (it was non-toxic, of course). My then boyfriend and I walked the parade with you with beads thrown at us. How patient and what a good sport in those little booties that I know you hated. Nothing was as funny as watching you walk like you were trying to shake them off. They brought me endless entertainment for months / years to come.
I remember our 2nd Mardi Gras when you ate an entire package of red vine and were vomiting and pooping at the same time and I had to navigate through parade traffic to get you to the ER vet. They pumped your little belly and gave you a saline patch and you looked like a camel with a hump. And I refused to leave your side – even then. Anything for you my baby girl.
Oh Shelby Lynne… no signs this month. Have you forgotten about us? Do you feel replaced by the little black and tan dog in my home now? She will never replace you. She will never be the “true love of my life”. I love her and she brings me much joy and I know you sent her to me to fill the void since you hated to see me sad and crying. I miss you so much. Life seems to move soooo slow when I think about the days and months and hours I have to count until we are together again.
I pray for some strength to take me through these next couple of months – that I know will be so incredibly hard for me. I plan to be in Seattle and Oregon right before your one-year anniversary. I want to take some of your ashes with me and leave them on the beach in Cannon Beach. Remember how we used to go there as a respite from the busy life in Seattle? I’m bringing the little black and tan dog but I know she won’t have as much fun as you. The beach forever remains our thing. It is where our two souls became one and secured our bond for forever.
I hope you are happy … I hope you are playing and laughing and smiling … and I hope you never forget how much I love you and I miss you. You are forever the love of my life. I love you, Shelby Lynne, to the moon and back and for all eternity.
