Another angelversary? Oh Shelby Lynne…. where has the time gone!?! You visit me so much less. But that doesn’t make me miss you less!!!
February will always be a double shot of grief since Feb 7 is the day that my darling daddy passed away from a long battle with cancer as well. This year was 19 years since he had passed. That seems unfathomable to me. I was a baby when he passed – only 22. I couldn’t even wrap my head around what that meant. And like the grieving process with Shelby, I just kind of became a zombie for years. As I get further away from his passing and further from Shelby’s, I do see a lot of similarities in that grief process. I have experienced romantic heartbreak but nothing compares to the loss of someone you love, admire, respect and strive to be more like – both my father AND Shelby. Neither let their disease define them – in part, some could argue that Shelby was a dog and didn’t know but I don’t really believe that. I believe with my heart and soul that Shelby knew something was wrong but she fought hard and strong since she knew she had to get me to a place of true strength. And when it came down it, I didn’t feel strong at the time, making those end of life decisions for her, but in retrospect, it was the strongest I had been in a long time.
So on Shelby’s day (the 8th) and on Daddy’s day (Feb. 7), I take a lot of comfort in thinking they were together. My daddy LOVED animals – so much so. We always had dogs growing up and in the end, his dogs were of great comfort to him while I was away at college. They were a perfect pack. Kind of like the pack I am creating with Jasper Lily, in that I much prefer to spend time with her other than humans.
Daddy and Shelby also LOVED the beach so to honor them, we went to the off-leash dog beach (forcing Jasper to embrace the beach lifestyle which she doesn’t love but humors me). Jasper had a blast! Divine intervention?!? I think yes.
My daddy loved the beach, the sea, the water … he was a Navy man back in the day. And I remember, as a child, romping around the beach with my parents and the dogs at our beach home. The beach life is in my blood, in my soul. I am so grateful to live near the beach now.
And Shelby … she loved the beach too. I think she liked to have the fresh air in her nose. She always perked up at the beach – even when she wasn’t feeling the greatest after her chemo, she would definitely get a little boost from our beach time. The Long Beach dog beach was one of the best things that Shelby and I discovered while she was still healthy.
And so it made sense that I would honor them both yesterday with a trip to the beach (along with the new sidekick).
Happy Angelversary you two… I hope you are celebrating together and I know you both watch over me (and the sidekick) all the time. I love and miss you both – always and forever – to the moon and back and for all infinity!