What an amazing weekend – it was fun, cathartic and healing! It was SO amazing to meet so many people who have traveled this journey and survived! My Shelby’s spirit was definitely there and I was so happy to meet Golden Shelby – the Petite Princess! They were one of the first to welcome us on this journey and their initial kindness and outreach to me restored my faith in humans. In the pits of deep depression and sadness, their kind handwritten note (and wine) made more of a difference to me than they will ever know.
Jasper and I drove up Friday and then drove out to the party Sat. We were early so we walked around the park – taking full advantage of the sights and being full of gratitude for our health.
In what seemed like the perfect way to start the day, we saw Shelby and her wagon! And to the party we headed. Before I knew it, more than 4 hours had passed and we had shared amazing stories of fur-babies passed and new fur-babies and relationships that only strengthen with time.
I am posting these photos on Shelby’s blog since without Shelby Lynne… I would never had had the honor to meet these wonderful, caring and loving people. And over 19 months since Shelby earned her wings, this community continues to lift me up, support me, let me cry and remind me that I am getting stronger.
This is a place I never feel judged for missing Shelby. Where there is no time limit on grief. Where Jasper and all her quirks are relished and we are reminded that Shelby brought us together. Because without Shelby, I would not have this community of support. So thank you Shelby – for bringing me light and sunshine on dark times and for sending little Jasper Lily to ensure I would have a travel buddy to explore places outside of LA – where – for one brief afternoon – I could escape my current reality and just be in the moment and “be more dog”.
My darling Shelby … I miss you SO much. With each month that passes it just means it’s been even longer since I have kissed those velvet ears. I find it odd that I can be two steps forward and three steps back in this journey. I know the grief of your passing is something that I will live with forever. And that is OK. We love hard and we grieve hard.
I was out of town this year on the “Day of the Dead”. I thought about you and wanted to honor you in some way but it wasn’t possible. But know you were in my heart ALL day long!
Right before I went out of town, and had to leave Jasper for the first time (which was the hardest thing I have done in a really, really long time) was so thankful to get the shiny penny from you. And the other coin that we found on our walk. Thank you! Thank you for sending me TWO signs that you were OK and that I was going to be OK (and so was Jasper in her first long boarding situation).
There are so many ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’ moments that go through my mind. It’s such a waste of energy to live in the past and I strive to live more in the present. Which is why I think leaving Jasper was SO hard on me. I never want to miss one minute of her life as I missed too many of yours as I was learning about myself, growing up and trying to figure out who I was and where I wanted to be in life. I am a work in progress!
We walked down by the beach today. It’s still “our spot” as Jasper tolerates it. She prefers the woods.
And finally, today I was driving home and was behind a car from Tennessee. I rarely notice these things but today I took note. They were from “Shelby”. That was my sign! Thank you my love … I know you are always with me. I strive to do you proud!
I miss you. I love you. I love you to the moon and back and for all infinity! My best girl. The love of my life. My soul-mate. XOXO