Over the weekend, I got a bee in my bonnet and decided to get new linens for my super tiny bathroom. My purple towels had seen better days and I initially thought I was going to replace them with new purple towels.
But when I got to Home Goods, there were few purple towels to be found. And thus began a new chapter and new design of my bathroom.
For those that don’t know the story about the significance of the purple bath mat, here is the blog post I wrote about it years ago https://mom2shelby.tripawds.com/2014/02/20/from-the-bathroom-to-the-bedroom/
When Shelby came home from her amputation, she took up residence in my tiny bathroom. There is barely enough room in there for me let alone me and a dog. It became her “safe space”, her “den”, her “home” and it confused and baffled me. She would come out, eat and then go back in there. She was put out when I was in there. She refused to budge. It was about a month that she took over my bathroom but the purple bath mat became her special spot to go.
In her last few days – after months of not being in the bathroom – she was back in there and that was one of the reasons I knew something was terribly wrong.
When she passed, that purple bath mat became more than just a bathroom mat to me … it was something that reminded me of Shelby and brought me comfort and smiles in the darkest days. I don’t deal well with change – at all. So for the past four years, that bath mat has remained. Jasper has also occasionally found comfort on it when there are fireworks or loud booms at night but she usually flees to under the bed.
It makes perfect sense to me – in the way my mind and brain works – that I would have to emotionally process something as insignificant as a new “look” for the bathroom. There have been tons of other changes to the apt over the years since Shelby passed. When I got a new couch, I grieved the loss of the old couch too as it was a place that Shelby and I would have snuggle and cuddles on. A place that she was not allowed on post surgeries but found a way regardless. A piece of furniture that I had shared with her almost her entire life.
But I was sad to wash the bath mat and put it up and away. I am not quite ready to get rid of it yet (I am strong but not that strong). So for now, it is out of sight but not out of mind.
Oh and I also got a new laundry basket this weekend too … only time will tell if Jasper reacts positively to that (so far she is shunning it). Jasper loves to sleep in my dirty clothes basket.
Change is good. Change is inevitable. It is all about how you can manage and navigate. Life has been a roller coaster since the end of August and I do my best to “be more dog” and take one moment, one breath, one step at a time.
And always embrace nature … as Shelby loved to do!