Dear Shelby,
Today is your angelversary. I was going to try and be brave and not do a blog but you’ve been on my mind – a lot – lately. I guess I’ve been missing you a lot.
As you know, Elvis crossed the bridge late last month. I know you were there to welcome him. His mama is having a really hard time (like I did) so make sure to tell Elvis to send her lots and lots of signs like you did for me.
Today is Mother’s Day. I was always ambivalent on being a mom to human kids but fur-babies … that I always knew would be part of my life. I guess I just never anticipated what my life would look like when you passed. That thought never occurred to me and I think our life was full of so much bliss, adventures, free-spiritness … We never thought our time would end. I never thought there would be a day when I wasn’t your mom with you by my side. I know I am fur-ever your mom and you will always be my “first born” but it’s different with the new dog. She tries SO hard and I do love her very much as she was a hand-picked gift from YOU but she isn’t you. And I know she will not outlive me. And that scares me. That I will have to go through that raw, unrelenting, forever pain… again.
Everything I learned about being a mom, I learned from you. You taught me to love unconditionally, play lots, laugh lots, smile lots and be selfless. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world – especially when your child can’t speak or tell you what hurts but you did your best to always communicate that to me and you trusted me with your life. For that I am forever grateful. I knew when you looked into my eyes, you knew how much I loved you and how I would always be there for you. My hope is that little Jasper gets there some day.
I miss you Shelby Lynne! I saw a penny at the store today and knew it was for me. Thank you for the signs … when I need them the most. There is nothing like a mothers love for her child … that is the gift you gave me … yesterday, today and tomorrow.
I love you Shelby Lynne!
Your mommy … always and forever!
