Oh Dear Shelby … I miss you so much. How is it 7 months today that I kissed your velvet ears for the last time and let your tired spirit go and allow you to become an angel?
I would like to say the pain gets easier and the missing you becomes less but it does not. It has become an ever present dull ache. I don’t want it to go. It reminds me of our love story. It reminds me that our love is SO strong that it will never be broken.
Your story was so much more than your cancer and your illness. You fought like a true champion and I am so proud of you. I am so proud that you were strong enough to tell me that enough was enough. And that you gave me the strength to stop fighting. I have relived that last weekend we had together over and over in my mind over the past several days. I don’t know why. It just seems to be at the front of my mind. It’s like a punch in the gut – hearing those words from your doctors. Having the realization that our journey was ending and this wasn’t another bullet we could dodge.
So, my beautiful best girl, I hope you are soaring through the heavens with your sparkly angel wings … I hope you have made friends with the spirit angels of my friends here. I hope you have met up with the spirits of the other dogs that I grew up with. I hope that you have met my daddy. I feel you BOTH watching over me daily. And most of all – I hope you continue to HEAR me talking to you.
Thank you for visiting us again last night … however, Shelby Lynne, I beg of you – try and pick a more respectful hour to visit. While I realize time may not exist where you are – here – listening to little Jasper Lily growl at 3:30 a.m. still spooks me!
I love you, baby girl… you are my one and only true love!
Alison, you always take us all over the map with our emotions. Laughing, crying, sad, joyful….but ALWAYS feeling the deep love between you and Shelby…ALWAYS!
And the picture of you and Shelby…if that isn’t a dog smiling I don’t know what is!!! 🙂
And I can only imagine how proud she was for tearing up her bed and stuffies! I’m sure her face displayed a smuggness and s grinat the same time!
The missing…the yearning…the playing over the “last” in our minds over and over and over and over…just sucks. Guess we eventually get to the point of playing the sparkling happy times over and over and over!! That’s where all our furbabies would want us to frolic….right by their sides surrounded by their happiness.
The fact that Shelby visits you at night….love that! And yeah, she could give a rip about time…just proof the Spirit of our dogs…timeless and free!
Love you Alison and Shelby!
Sally and Alumni My Eternal Light Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!
Alison,
I get the total feeling of emotions in your blog. Not wanting to forget is so so natural & normal. I want to try to remember all the good times but like you I play that last day over & over in my mind.
Shelby stop scaring your mom like that 😉
Hugs
Michelle & Angel sassy