My beloved Shelby ….
I miss you like it was just yesterday that you left earth. I miss you every second of every day – still. Yet I love, appreciate and find happiness with the “new dog”. She makes me laugh and smile and I feel your spirit pulling further from me and I long to have you come back. I long to have you visit. I long to feel those velvet ears, kiss those sweet cheeks, drink in your senior dog scent. I long for lazy nap filled weekends. I long for our road trips to the beach and wherever. You always loved riding in the car and just “going”.
I long to relive our first days in New Orleans. I don’t long to relive your many ‘bad’ dog moments (trips to the ER for the chocolate, red vines, etc. that you consumed).
I long for the memories to be the present again. I know all to well you can’t “live in the past” or the saying that says “don’t look back, that’s not the way you are going” but looking forward to simply too scary right now. Shelby, I am lost without you by my side. You were the strong one. You were the one that had all the answers.
I don’t know where I want to be. It’s been a long time since I have felt this lost and this incapable of making decisions about where I want to live, work, exist… this life… Shelby… it isn’t working right now and I don’t know how to fix it. So my angel, please send me some strength to make things right. Or some sort of message so that I know that you are OK and that all will work out OK and I will come stronger than ever.
I miss you, my angel. I posted your video a year ago today. I still can’t get through it without massive tears but sometimes a good cry is a healthy way to cleanse the soul. I love you. Please know that I love you more than my own life and I will forever miss you every single day and I long for the day we are together again. And even though I have the new dog that you sent me, we talk about you every single day! Thank you for helping guide her to be a “good girl” and leave all the “bad dog” things in your court!