20 months an angel

I cannot believe Shelby has been an angel for 20 months. A year and a half (a little bit more). Almost 2 years. This will be my second Christmas without Shelby and while it does get easier, the pain is still there. The memories we shared bring me smiles as I pulled out ALL her Santa photos for display. Each one has a special place in my heart as each dress, each antler, each Santa hat. Each costume forever remains locked up in a box under my bed. I can’t bear myself to remove them and I don’t know what else to do with them.

Holidays with Shelby were the best. That dog was SO spoiled! No dog has ever gotten more toys, more bones, more cookies!!! We LOVED (well maybe mostly me) going to Petco or Petsmart to get her photo taken with Santa. It wasn’t the holidays until that was done – and she always had the perfect “I am sooooo going to murder you in your sleep” face. No matter what.

And the Christmas walks on the beach. In her new dress, spreading holiday joy.

I hate the holidays. I have for years. I hate that time between Thanksgiving and New Years with every fiber of my being and I work really hard NOT to show my “Grinchy” side. But with Shelby … I had reasons to smile, to laugh, to feel joy.

Last year was really hard; not only because Shelby had passed but because it was the last month of the last year we had spent together. This year will mark the first full year I spent without my faithful soul mate. It has been a long year. A lot of questions left unanswered. And a lot of soul-searching left to do.

Sunday on our walk, Jasper led me to a shiny penny. I wouldn’t have seen it if Jasper hadn’t stopped and sniffed and then I looked and three more… brand new sparkling pennies!!! From heaven. Shelby always sends me pennies when she knows I need her the most.

I feel fiercely protective of our bond and preserving that bond. I know no one thinks I have forgotten Shelby but sometimes, an hour goes past and I don’t think about her. She is everywhere – on my desk at work, my walls at home, my screens on my phone and computers. It is impossible to forget her. But maybe I just see her all the time, it is like she never left. Of course she is forever in my heart and with the tears and laughter, I feel the pitter patter of her little paws. And if I close my eyes really tight and breath in really hard, I can feel and smell those velvet ears against my face.

As I get ready to say goodbye to 2015 – I look forward to positive energy in 2016. I made it! One whole calendar year without my soulmate, the love of my life, my one and only best friend. Her spirit resides in my heart for fur-ever and I remain guided by her wisdom, her love and her amazing capacity to live each day for the greatest gift that it is.

Love that face so, so much!
Her last Christmas dress …. one of the best, ever!
Santa was always so good to her! Spoiled!
Beach Living – Beach Girls!

Author: mom2shelby

Mom to 13 year old Shelby - Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. A rescue dog that was born in New Orleans. Shelby is a spirited, smart and happy little dog who loves to run, play, go to the beach (we live in LA) and ride in the car! She is my best friend and the true love of my life!

5 thoughts on “20 months an angel”

  1. There are no words sufficient to comfort one another during these times. Soulmates like Shelby was to you and Bart was to me just don’t come around often enough…I guess that is why they are so very precious, once in a lifetime dogs.

    Hugs to you and thank you for sharing all your beautiful memories of Shelby. She is always right with you and when you stop for a moment and breathe in her heavenly scent, I know you smile just like I do when I breathe in Bart’s heavenly scent.



    Are you sitting down? No, stand up instead because you won’t be able to sit down 🙂 🙂

    So…driving back with Merry Myrtle after her Petco and Starbucks trip, I’m strategizing howmon earth I’ll be able to take Myrtle and Frankie for Santa pictures next Saturday. Seeing Karma’s GREAT Santa photos AND thinking about all the great Christmas pictures you’ve previously posted with Shelby at Christmas, made me wish I had done these things with Happy Hannah. I just didn’t do “outings” like that. It just wasn’t on my radar. I hadn’t taken dog specific vacations (or any for thst matter..well..scuba, but can’t take the dogs). Just wasn’t on my radar. Until you and Shelby ENLIGHTENED me!

    Still with me? Here we go…….so, I’m thinking, I’m gonna start and thread PRESSURING you and Karma to get the Santa/holiday pictorials started with her great pictures and yours with Shelby in all her holiday finery. Of course, including sweet Jasper!!

    Here’s the BAM!! The WOW! Ready?? I sit down to log onto the site to start a thread asking you two to kick off the posting of holiday pictures. Of course, “log on” is now an obsolete term around here anymore …shhh…..the Admin Guy doesn’t read these vlogs does he?

    Soooo, I’m going through the “process” of logging in and BAM!!! WOW! HOLY TOLEDO!!! JIMINY CHRISTMAS! The log in takes me straight to Shelby’s vlog!!!!!!!! I didn’t touch a thing! I was on the forum page logging in, expecting to still be on the forum page! But no! I was on Shelby’s blog and there she was in all her holiday finery!

    I don’t know if this blows you away as much as it does me, but I’m telling you, if that isn’t asn exclamation point to the fact that Shelby is sooooooo here with yiu, I don’t know what is!!!

    This girl sends you the most fun signs! She has such a great sense of humor! And then Jasper led you to the pennies! BAM! M.ore signs! And I love, love, love that Jasper went over to sniff it! Get it? It had Shelby’s scent on it! That’s why she went to it!

  3. Alison, you made it one year plus with her beside you in your heart. She is still showing you that she is still there. Maybe not in her earthly clothes but by golly she is there. Now I love all the Christmas pictures you dug out of her you just have to make a tradition with JL. Maybe not the same one that you had with Shelby but one of your own.

    Sally always says everything so well. Darcy said it too.

    Michelle & Angel Sassy

    ps Wish I would have taken Sassy to see Santa paws we will be going this weekend the 2nd year for Bosch & the girls

  4. Yes, you DID make it Alison, we knew you could do it! And yes, in so many ways, they truly never leave us. There’s no greater legacy than that (and shiny pennies from heaven too). xoxo

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