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Mom2Shelby

Two Months Post Amp

We did it! I cannot believe it’s been two months since my quadpawd became a tripawd. What a whirlwind two months it has been. Shelby continues to adapt to her new gait/lifestyle better and better each day. The sparkle is definitely back in her eyes! And I continue to relax and learn to embrace each day as a new day, full of possibilities, potential and great love!

My birthday was last week and I think I was so incredibly anxious on the actual date because I was at home with Shelby and I wanted to make sure that I savored every minute of it while being ultra ‘on-guard’ to her every breath, movement, cough…. I think I was actually so worried that we would have to take a trip to Advanced Critical Care that I forgot to enjoy the day and just ‘be a dog’. I was so freaked out that my 40th birthday was going to be marred by a trip to the emergency vet that I forgot to the enjoy the day. Lesson learned – Shelby didn’t know it was a special day. She just knew it was a day that her mommy was home with her. But Shelby could definitely tell something was amiss and was a bit aloof most of the day (which was concerning to me). I worked at home on Friday due to the epic rain and was being more normal and Shelby, as a result, was more normal. Fast forward the entire weekend I was home with her (which was normal) and Shelby was picture perfect normal dog.

I wish there was a way to shut off my ‘crazy’ fear feelings about Shelby or that I could “forget” that she has lung mets. Shelby doesn’t know she is sick. I wish I could remove those thoughts from my mind as well. Because when I do push them far back, I do notice my girl acts more like herself but if she so much as senses that I am guarded or anxious – even if I don’t verbally articulate it – she starts to breathe a little harder, cough a bit more and shake. As soon as I offer her a treat, she relaxes and so do I. We are quite the pair.

Shelby has her 7th or 8th chemo treatment this week – I’ve lost track since we went over the prescribed treatment plan. I know the drill all to well now which is good since I don’t get as crazy anxious about it. I fully expect the lethargy, the very slight nausea and the lack of interest in things. She’s been on her mushroom therapy along with a plethora of other pills. What I don’t know is how we know if the mushrooms are really helping. I guess that they aren’t hurting means they are helping.

I have spring break from work in a couple of weeks. Shelby has always been the best travel buddy. There is a part of me that wants to take her on a mini-road trip (just an overnight). But there is the part of me that worries that I will even enjoy it if I am worried about Shelby and being so far (2 hours) from her vet(s). I might take her to lunch this weekend to see if we can dine together like we always do on vacation and if I can relax w/her there. My default is to pick her up – when strangers walk by, other dogs, to cross the street; all things I KNOW she can handle and yet I still treat her like a “China” doll. I am getting better. A meal out together would be a good test. I guess I worry more that Shelby has no concept of her limits and will over-exert herself and get injured.

I would also love to mark the 6 month anniversary of her hemangiosarcoma diagnosis – a week from this weekend. I don’t like to think too far in advance because I have seen on this forum things can change in the blink of an eye but I am cautiously optimistic that Shelby is doing really well.

“love of my life”

My princess … because some things never change! (notice no whiskers)

 

4 Comments »

  1. rica55 Said,

    March 5, 2014@ 12:53 pm      Reply

    Ohhh Alison, I so know how you feel. You (and Shelby) definitely deserve that vacation and a celebration for 6 months! But I know what you mean – I still get nervous to go away. I feel as if I am constantly keeping an eye on Jill. Sometimes I feel like I don’t let myself breathe. It’s a hard thing to get over, I can’t even offer you any advice on how to, because I am not an expert on it myself. I think as time goes by it has eased for me.
    Shelby is in good company on the whiskers thing, Jill lost all of hers too! I thought it was a kitty only thing!!!
    Hoppy Ampuversary Shelby – keep on doing great, we love you!
    xoxo,
    Erica & Jill

  2. benny55 Said,

    March 5, 2014@ 2:47 pm      Reply

    You are a Princess Shelby!! A beautiful Pr cess!!

    CNGRATULATIONS on your two month ampuversary,! Heck! I’m starting celebrating that six month diagnosis thing a week eary!! It’s never too early to ge the party started!! REMEMBER, everyday is a celebration!

    All I can say is, when your emotions get whacky and run all over you like a steam roller…get on the site…vent it out…then get back to the “bidness” of being in the moment with Shelby!
    Been there..done that…many ties over.

    One thing that is really, realh worth repeating, the only regret one member said she had, was, while the dog was still by her side, she wasted sooo much of their time together worrying about the future. She said she let it rob her of precious memories in the making. She was grieving the whole time for a loss that had yet to happen. And when it did, she grieved for the time she wasted when they were together.

    Another thing to focus on…..Shelby is by your side today, and you can be sure she will be by your side tomorrow And really, that one thought can get you through each day and help you let go of everything else!

    SHELBY STRONG is here to stay!” She’s having way to much fun messing with your head!

    Take her to lunch! Enjoy it! Let her order what she wants! You can think about Spring Break down the road. Right now just keep it chunked and enjoy today!

    Alison, yoj REALLY, REALLY, REALLY have made remarkable progress on this journey!!! It’s not easy and it pushes us all to the limits! But we always have each other to pull us back from the edge.

    The pictures of Shelby are just great!! Its a wonderful day to celebrate two very special souls!!
    I kow we’re gon a have some ice cream over here! What special treat is Miss Shelby having? So ething realy goo and yummy I hope! Such a little miracle dog!! She amazes me !!

    Sending loads of love!!

    Sally and Happy Hannah

  3. Angela Said,

    March 5, 2014@ 7:58 pm      Reply

    YAY for 2 month ampuversaries!! And how precious is Shelby!? She is lucky to have such a great mom who worries.. But do take time to enjoy yourself and her! I’m sure she would love to go for an outing (even if it’s just for the day). Have fun, go crazy and give lots of treats 🙂 and happy belated birthday to you!

    Cody and Family

  4. jerry Said,

    March 5, 2014@ 8:33 pm      Reply

    You really are a princess, Shelby!

    Hoppy ampuversary sweetie, pawty away!


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